But why???

Why all these happens in my life only? Why Am I becoming pessimist day by day?? Why am not able to control my emotions?? Why I always suffer?? I really don't know...For anything, I will never blame GOD... When I think my life is coming to the track, something is going wrong.. From my child hood I have seen all these, so my mind is not working...Why I cannot become a kid again so that I can forget all my sorrows and live?? I believe in this moment, but what if this moment is giving me grief and pain?? What will happen in the next moment?? Will I be alive??Or Will I get a happy news?? My mind is fully disturbed and not able to think.....